I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
