omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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