i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
