I'd wear matching sweaters with you
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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