im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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