Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
