Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
