What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
