My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's the barista slut.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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