I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
