I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
