Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
