I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
