Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
