If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize