You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
