so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
