I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
