Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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