Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
kristin has been a bad kristin
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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