I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
