well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
