bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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