how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
