He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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