Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
