Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
