and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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