So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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