I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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