Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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