It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
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Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
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Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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