im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
