the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
