You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize