No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can I color on your dick again?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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