Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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