i wish there were pregnant emoticons
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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