You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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