Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
