great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
