i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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