with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
