oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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