New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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