i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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