At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
