You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
