I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
