U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize