My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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