She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize