At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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