I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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