i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
