she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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