I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
