Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
